The importance of pre-views

I've written before about soul shocks, and how it's important to avoid these. Unfortunately, that's becoming more and more difficult in the times we live in.

The other day I took up a new book to read to Curly-Locks, who's now four years old. My husband bought it, and the publisher is a trusted one. So I didn't think to flip through it beforehand. And so we arrived at a page which brought a shock. The illustration was of Jack Frost, but the white stick figure had a frightening aspect. I felt Curly-Locks's shock go right through me. We moved on as quickly as possible. Too late to avoid the shock, sadly.

My mother told of an illustrated Red Riding Hood that she used to read to me, and how I could never get past the picture of the wolf. Although I don't remember the image, I still remember one of the nightmares it engendered. The story itself didn't bother me.

Then there are birthday parties. They can be a minefield. When my children were small I always checked with the parents to find out what, exactly, would be happening. Better to be cautious beforehand than regretful afterwards.

Movies are the other things I strongly suggest you look at before your children do. The most innocent of titles can be problematic. I remember back in South Africa going to see 'The Gods Must be Crazy', a very amusing film that seemed to hold no danger. But somewhere along the way terrorists with guns broke onto the screen. Not what you'd want your children to witness.

It's good to be vigilant, even though this may mean spending extra time. That time spent will be worthwhile, and your children's development made healthier for it.

Who (or what) are we scaring at Hallowween

In November, the so-called dead are closest to the earth. We see this in the Christian calendar in All Saints and All Souls Days, and other religions have similar timing for remembering their loved ones and ancestors who have passed over. The first statement also applies to those who have remained too entangled in the earthly realm to access the heavenly i.e. ghosts.

Now, the origins of Halloween lie in lighting lanterns to help guide those wandering spirits home. On the other hand, people wanted to protect the children from malignant forces. Thus the 'scary' element on the outside of houses.

But today I have to wonder: who are we scaring?

When the blue-eyed boy was no more than three, something happened that still brings me pain when I recall it. On Halloween, it was already dark and he was sitting at the end of the table, eating dinner. The door bell rang and he turned his head. Unfortunately, he could see the door. And what he saw was a black and white mask of 'The Scream'. I swear that poor child jumped at least three inches and went totally pale.

A shock like this is really damaging for a small child. So I would urge you, somehow or other, protect your little ones this Halloween. I know some parents who put up a notice saying 'no scary masks', but in any case, be vigilant. A mask, after all, hides our humanity.