Struggling can be good

Last evening we had a lovely, unexpected visit from Curly-Locks. Although, it didn't start off so happily because he came to us because he had an ear-ache. The rest of the family and visitors were off elsewhere.

At first he only wanted to sit quietly and have me read a couple of his favourite books for him. Fortunately, Apis Levisticum soon had him feeling better and as the evening was warm and completely still, when he wanted to play outside, I felt that was okay for him.

And then I had an idea. Cheryl's birthday will be coming up before long and why not let Curly-Locks plant some radishes to give to her? Yes, she likes them, and they're fast.

So that's what we did. Then they needed watering. This summer we have water restrictions in our area and we're making use of our waterbarrel. Oupa fixed a short length of hose onto the tap, and we fill the watercan from there.

Curly-Locks decided he was going to do this all by himself. First of all, the tap was tight so he had to battle to open it. I stood by, so tempted to help, but holding back. Lo and behold, soon he succeeded and managed to turn it off properly as well.

He syphoned water into the can. "It's heavy," he said. "Can you manage?" I asked. "Yes." So, getting totally into it, he watered the newly planted seeds, the flowering beans and the fruiting tomatoes.

We both came back inside with a sense of accomplishment.

Sometimes it's hard not to step in and help, but it's hugely advantageous to the child if he or she can struggle a bit... and often succeed. If help is needed, that's okay too because already they've put their will into the task. A good lesson and practice for later on in life.

The Urge to Imitate: Use it to Advantage

One fine summer day I was lucky enough to be in the south of England, visiting daughter Helen and her two boys. I think the elder must have been a little under four years old at the time. Our regular walk took place along a disused railway line and just before we reached a stone bridge over the Medway (always fun to stop and gaze at the water running by) we had the choice to go left or right. That particular day, we turned right so we could greet a couple of horses in their field and see if there were any blackberries to be picked.

The time came when we needed to head back. Helen didn't say a word about that. What she did was this: walking along, holding her boy's hand, she made a swinging 180 degree turn and voila, we were on our return journey! No comment or complaints from either of the children. Easy peasy.

All small children bear a strong urge to imitate. They pick up what they need from the actions, habits, ways of speaking and being, of the people around them. Sometimes, when they come into contact with other children, this isn't necessarily a good thing! But this urge is something we can consciously make use of, as in my example above. Even such a simple thing as sitting down at the dining table and folding hands together before saying grace will help a child be still and ready to eat the meal. So see where you can use imitation to help, teach, and guide your child.