Change of season

The equinox has passed and we're now officially in the fall.

For a change, here's a letter from Cheryl (actually an email) that I wanted to share with you:

I have to tell you (the Blue-eyed Boy) was so sweet on our walk on Saturday. He was collecting leaves for nature crafts and he says that Autumn is his favourite season because it reminds him of Nana and he misses that time with you. 

How touching is that?

Now, to my shame, I have to confess my efforts in the direction of honouring the season through arranging a nature table and collecting leaves, pine cones and so on, were pretty minimal. However, what does Cheryl's note tell us? That even this small nod to the season was incredibly important for a small grandson.

To experience the cycle of the year as fully as possible is a help to us all, but specially for the children who are still learning how to be on the earth. Nurturing their natural connection with nature will lead to a strengthening for their whole lives.

The importance of pre-views

I've written before about soul shocks, and how it's important to avoid these. Unfortunately, that's becoming more and more difficult in the times we live in.

The other day I took up a new book to read to Curly-Locks, who's now four years old. My husband bought it, and the publisher is a trusted one. So I didn't think to flip through it beforehand. And so we arrived at a page which brought a shock. The illustration was of Jack Frost, but the white stick figure had a frightening aspect. I felt Curly-Locks's shock go right through me. We moved on as quickly as possible. Too late to avoid the shock, sadly.

My mother told of an illustrated Red Riding Hood that she used to read to me, and how I could never get past the picture of the wolf. Although I don't remember the image, I still remember one of the nightmares it engendered. The story itself didn't bother me.

Then there are birthday parties. They can be a minefield. When my children were small I always checked with the parents to find out what, exactly, would be happening. Better to be cautious beforehand than regretful afterwards.

Movies are the other things I strongly suggest you look at before your children do. The most innocent of titles can be problematic. I remember back in South Africa going to see 'The Gods Must be Crazy', a very amusing film that seemed to hold no danger. But somewhere along the way terrorists with guns broke onto the screen. Not what you'd want your children to witness.

It's good to be vigilant, even though this may mean spending extra time. That time spent will be worthwhile, and your children's development made healthier for it.

Electronic force fields

A couple of evenings ago we went to help our son with dinner and putting kids to bed because Cheryl was away. My husband wanted to take a look at his (son's) new website, so opened the laptop, only to find there was no connection to the web.

Turned out our son had been doing some research into the effects of wifi emanations and had decided to limit these. He switches off completely overnight, and he intends to get a timer for the days so they can keep the wifi on for as short a time as possible.

Something of the disturbances that electronic force fields create we already know. For e.g., they interfere with the birds' migrations, and it's becoming clear that this applies to butterflies as well. Many people believe this is why our bee population is under threat.

So I would recommend caution. Dial-up connection was okay, cable not too bad, but broadband/wifi affects us in ways we cannot yet tell or measure. For our tender, tiny ones, it's a good idea to switch off as often as you can.

Two more points to make re flying

Actually, the first point I'd like to make is that it's best if you don't fly with babies. After 18 months is not so bad, but just imagine how you'd feel in that noisy, shaky machine if you were one sixth or seventh of the size you are now! (yeah, I tried to calculate that against my body. Not so easy.)

The second thing has to do with those back-of-the-seat screens. I advise simply turning them off to avoid the glare and the rays. Sometimes you have to do this on the handset controls, and sometimes on the screen itself. The latter is not always so easy to find, so ask a flight attendant if you need to.

Think 'protection'.

Flying with little ones

I've flown no less than seven times over the past five weeks. Too many and yes, I'm very happy to be home. But I'm also grateful that travels went smoothly. I was distressed on only one flight, and that was when the plane was descending. A baby started crying and I knew why. The little one's ears were hurting.

So, dear parents, think ahead before you fly. It's good to have something for baby to suck, a bottle rather than a soother, I think, because the swallowing helps. In the 'old' days, really many years ago, the flight attendants would hand out sweets and also cotton wool to put in the ears. Now, I'm not sure the latter really helps. It can't harm, though, so have a little on hand.

This is the one situation in my life when I chew gum, or at least, have it in my purse in case my ears start hurting. So I guess for older children that would be an option.

In any case, when it comes to kids, thinking ahead is always a good thing to do!

More from the Norland nannie

Another thing that struck me... This woman commented about how many children today are picky eaters. This she put down to us giving small kids options. She said children should have their food put in front of them without discussion, but if there was something they didn't like, they should only be given a small amount of that. Adults should set a good example by eating everything on their plate.

This made me remember an incident. When my eldest grandson was small, I asked him if he wanted carrots (or whatever). Busy with his play (no, I shouldn't have interrupted him) he didn't respond. I insisted, "Josh, do you want carrots? Say 'yes or no'."

He looked up at me and sweetly said, "Yes or no".

That, dear readers, surely sums it up.

A Norland Nannie's advice

Recently the Guardian newspaper published an article/memoir by a woman who'd been a Norland nannie all her life. This British nannie training was instituted a bit before the middle of last century and she told of how the first thing they learned to do was to polish those coach-built high perambulators until they shone spotless!

A couple of things were interesting to me. Firstly, that the training insisted a child should never be spanked... certainly a concept way ahead of its time. Then she wrote about how a child could be disciplined. Inappropriate behaviour could be met by sending the child to his or her room (not merely to sit on the stairs) to think about what had happened. Then, when they were ready, they'd come downstairs to apologize. The apology given, they were then given a kiss and a hug to express approval and to show that they were loved.

It was this last step that brought an 'aha' for me, so I wanted to share it with you.