On the right foot

This will be a very brief post, but, I hope, a useful one.

Our son was teaching his neighbour's little boy how to know which shoe goes on the right foot and which on the left. He simply told him, "See the pointy bits at the end? They must go together."

Now why didn't I ever think of that?

Reading Fairy and Folk Tales

Yesterday the Blue-eyed Boy, who's about to turn nine (!), came to be with us. Both he and I were suffering from what you might call 'too much weekend'. I hosted a pot luck lunch celebration and he had his birthday party with a sleepover. Being a sensitive child, the excitement had to be dealt with in some way, and so he was a bit 'piano' and his forehead and chin felt hot to the touch, although from the way his eyes looked, I don't think he was running a fever.

He arrived with a basket-load of books and settled down to read. After a while he asked me if I'd read to him, which I did. Now, the story we read about some hero in fantasy land (I've forgotten the name but there are many in the series) was fairly innocuous and quite fun, but later I thought it would be good to put something else in his head, some mind-pictures that might serve as food for the soul and maybe even possess some underlying moral content. So I read him a long story from 'Celtic Tales', a collection of folk tales I can really recommend.

He listened, spell-bound, a sure sign that he's not too old for such tales. When he was younger we went more with the classic Grimm's stories such as Sleeping Beauty, Mother Holle, the Musicians of Bremen, the Shoemaker and his Wife and so on. These I read in a matter-of-fact tone. No drama. But I did allow myself more expression with 'King Conal's Horses'.

'French Fairy Tales' is another book I can recommend, and you can always look for the Andrew Lang collections. I also used 'Stories for Six Year Olds' for my children and the grandsons. Some of these are retellings of the old tales, but usually done with sensitivity. On the other hand, especially in the world of young adult books, recently there's been a fashion to re-work some of the stories in order to make the princesses more feisty and pro-active, in line with our feminist views today. This always feels to me like a misreading, a kind of betrayal of the originals. If you think of archetypal images, very often the feminine, the princess, represents the soul. I'd say that in our modern world it's exactly this, the soul, that very often needs rescuing and freeing from imprisonment in illusion.

I don't know how the Blue-eyed Boy felt at the end of the day, but me, I felt re-energized and ready to engage with life again.

p.s. A week later, and he's with us again. And what does he ask for? For me to read the same story once again. I was happy to do so.

When and how to speak up?

Yesterday I went to get my hair cut (yay!). My hairdresser is a lovely young Vietnamese woman who has an eighteen-month old son. We got to talking, of course, and she confided to me how she doesn't bath him every day, but does wash him. She was kind of hesitant about this, but when I told her I approved and we spoke about not washing off the good oils and everything that helps to strengthen the immune system, and that latest research confirms this, she was happy. I encouraged her to go with her own instincts, even if other parents disapproved. Then she said, as a mother, how important it was to think. Ohhhh yes.

She told me how, on a quick visit to the close-by supermarket to pick up some lunch, she'd been standing waiting at the checkout and noticed that the woman in front of her held a sleeping baby whose head flopped from one side to the other as his mother moved. This distressed her, and she wanted to point it out. But "You know how defensive people can be," she said. Nevertheless, she felt compelled to say something. So she commented on the cute baby and did actually say that maybe his head needed support.

Now this is the kind of dilemma I face so often. Her way was a good way, I think, but what to do when I'm taking a walk around the neighbourhood and see a baby facing the sun, trying desperately to hide her eyes and face from its bright rays? Or when a child is obviously underdressed for the weather? Is it my business to comment, or better to speak up?

Any tips or ideas on how to draw attention to harmful practices in an acceptable way would be much appreciated!

Picking up on the Clues

Long time no blog! Mostly I've been posting links on my facebook page. If you'd like to keep up to date with these, you could 'like' me at https://www.facebook.com/YourSpiritualChild. In any case, this action would be much appreciated and help spread the good word!

Today I have something on my mind. See, it was Curly-Locks's seventh birthday yesterday. It's amazing and wonderful to observe the magic that happens after the first of the seven year periods, to see how he's taken another step in coming into himself. What a pity he started school last September instead of next. More and more research is emerging which supports a later-is-best when it comes to formal learning. But you know, sometimes children have their own protection. It's my observation that mostly his classes have wafted by him without penetrating too far!

Yesterday, though, something else happened which might have been quite traumatic for him. I only realized this when I lay in bed and thought back over the day. After school he spends time outdoors with a few other boys, under the supervision of a fun and energetic woman in the neighbourhood. They were in the park for his birthday celebration.

I, however, only saw him in the evening when we met him and the rest of the family for dinner at a restaurant. They were already there when we arrived, and straight away Curly-Locks said to me 'Look what happened to me', and pointed to his forehead. I gave him a kiss on the appointed spot, and noticed his skin was sticky-sweet. Anyhow, keen to wish him 'Happy Birthday' and give him his present (a tennis racquet among a couple of smaller gifts), I simply went ahead with that. Then his mom showed me some photos. Turned out Curly-Locks had received a pie in the face.

How would you like to experience such a thing? I don't think I would, especially seeing as it was likely unexpected (I don't know this for sure). So I regretted not picking up on the clue, being in the moment and giving Curly-Locks the chance to verbalize what happened.

In general he's a child who puts a brave face on. I'm hoping to find a time today when we can talk for a few quiet moments.

Mother's Day

Mothering is a sacred task, and  demanding one. We wish everything of the best for our children and yet, sadly, it's easy for us or the world to do them harm, psychically and physically.

So, dear mothers, this is my wish for you, their guardians: have the courage to go against the mainstream if what's usually done appears harmful to you with regard to your kids. Maybe this means saying 'no' to a birthday party invitation for example. From toddler to teenager, I used to make a point of finding out in advance what was likely to be on offer. On the other hand, know when to compromise and, perhaps, compensate.

But today, relax and give yourself some credit!

Some thoughts on measles

As some of you know, my fourth baby was born three weeks late. I always joked (sort of) that he waited so that I could nurse his older brother through the measles. Yes, he needed nursing, to be kept quiet in bed, in a darkened room (even though this was 'proved' to be unnecessary, it did ease the situation). After ten days or so, when he recovered, I experienced the same thing as with his two elder sisters: that the illness had been a help to him and brought a profound satisfaction. Somehow or other, he was more content, more himself. Happier in his skin.

In those long-ago days, we didn't have the MMR vaccine, so all of my kids had measles, mumps and rubella, as well as chicken pox. They weren't dangerously sick with any of these childhood diseases, although there was discomfort and fever. But then, we were living a healthy, outdoor lifestyle in South Africa, eating mostly our own organic/Bio-dynamic vegetables, and my children were used to being proper patients: i.e. staying in bed when they had flu and so forth. Today, in general, I'd say we are far away from that culture.

I think we can't do justice to the whether or not to vaccinate debate if we don't consider the question of incarnation. As opposed to the term 'growing up' we could say that the ego 'grows down'. Some of us are never fully incarnated, but certainly there's a maturity that comes at twenty-one (the old, traditional 'coming of age' time) and even more so with twenty-eight. All fevers can help with the process because the ego is connected with warmth and fire.

In my book 'Magical Motherhood' I suggest it's up to the parents to decide what they can handle. Also, if the decision is made to go with inoculation, it's definitely worth looking at immune-boosting remedies such as you find in anthroposophical medicine and homeopathy. When we did the smallpox vaccine for our elder son (he who had the measles just before his brother was born) I was advised to dose him with Thuja D6 to help offset the negative effects. Whether or not that's enough, who can say?

Bringing a true Christmas mood to your children.

It seems to me this is becoming more and more difficult. As is so often the case, stories can help. This year I've been reading Alan Howard's wonderful 'Nativity Stories' to our grandsons, who are now six and eight. The day after I read the first story to the six year old he asked to have it again. Surely an endorsement!

They are old enough now to know quite a few Christmas carols, and enjoy singing both the quieter and more joyous ones.

In days gone by we most often had the chance to attend the medieval Oberufer Christmas plays. They always brought a quiet and reverent upliftment. This year we didn't get the chance, but we did have the grace of attending an Advent spiral, accompanied by harp music.

As our two younger grandsons will be away from home for Christmas, I'm sending them each a special card, for the younger, Fra Angelico's 'Flight into Egypt' and the older, Bernardo Luini's Madonna and Child.

Why am I choosing these paintings from the old masters? Well, children today are increasingly exposed to screen time during the day. Many of the images they see are ugly, even hideous, and often frightening. And the trouble is, they'll take them into sleep with them. So, I thought, it's good if they can have a card to look at before they turn off the light or blow out the candle. Then maybe they can sleep peacefully and truly benefit from this holy time of the year.