A Simple Gift

I swept the kitchen floor this evening. As I enjoyed the rhythmical, calming activity, I got to thinking how I regret never having found a nice, small broom to give to the Blue-Eyed boy or Curly-Locks. Its really a shame. Yes, I discovered a couple of different models in the toy shops but always so unnecessarily cold, and stiff bristly. And artificial. Just couldn't convince myself I wanted to spend my money on them.

What I should have done was gone to the hardware store, bought a smallish broom and simply cut down the handle. That's what Helen did for her boys. They loved their brooms and felt proud to be able to help.

Sometimes it's the simplest gifts/toys that are the most successful.

Picking up a thread

The title I've just written reminds me of my mother. She had a few superstitions and one of them was that if you picked a thread off someone else's clothing, that would mean good luck. Provided they didn't thank you!

Many's the time, however, that I've thanked my mother. You could say I 'got lucky', but it's far far more than that.

In any case, it's about parents that I want to talk today.

Recently I wrote about the karmic connections children have with their parents. What I want to bring to you now is one of the first ideas (I would call it a truth, but leave it to you to live with for a while and see if it resonates for you) I heard about when I came into this way of Magical Motherhood. This is that children choose their parents. While still in the heavenly world, we see which mother and which father will best serve our needs and the development steps we need to take in our forthcoming incarnation. And we help bring the couple together!

Now of course, none of us is perfect, so not everything we as parents give to our children, not all the ways we treat them, or the habits and traits we pass on can ever be ideal. Nevertheless, it can be affirming to know that we are the chosen ones, the couple who can best guide and bring up our children.

So, dear readers, when you feel you fall short, remember this and take comfort.

Living with the festival year

"Will you be having a sleigh ride this year?" My husband asks our overnight visitors, a note of hope in his voice.

"Most likely," comes the answer.

Yes, you'd be right in thinking this is a bit of a festive tradition for our friends. Right now, as we look towards the first Sunday in Advent and the weeks that build up to Christmas and the thirteen Holy Nights,  I wanted to write a little bit about festivals in general and why observing them is helpful for children.

What springs immediately to mind is the fact that rhythm sustains us. So, in living with recurring festivals we lay a good ground for the child's sense of security and joy in life and the world. Festivals can be deeply nourishing for the children's souls... and for ours, for that matter. But traditions and events and celebrations don't have to be big or elaborate. Sometimes just a few small efforts are enough to set the mood and open the heart.

But be aware that how you begin is how and what the small children will expect next time too, and probably into the future.

On Sunday I'll hang up this painting. It was done by our younger daughter while she was in primary school. Wet on wet water colour is fine, but when our basement flooded it suffered water damage, as you can see. Nevertheless, her depiction of Mary wandering over stars and gathering threads of starlight for her little child, is one we love to live with during Advent and the Christmas season.

Making magic

"Advent is my very favourite time of the year," says my dear friend and overnight guest. And, having stayed with her around this time, I know why.

She's lucky enough to live on a large piece of land. I've accompanied her into the wild to pick red dogwood branches to decorate outdoor urns and indoor spaces. In general, her home is redolent with all the best things about the run up to Christmas. It's a wonderful time for children, and I don't mean because Santa will soon be here with presents.

In England, this coming Sunday is traditionally known as 'Stir Up Sunday'. It's the day when Christmas cakes and puds need to be made... ahead of time, so the flavours can blend and mature.

I'm sure you know that small children love baking. It's surprising how much they can manage to 'help' and how much they gain from it. I remember when I taught the Blue-eyed boy how to crack and egg. After doing it and thinking about it, he turned to me so sweetly and said, 'I love you, Nana'.

Food for the soul, for sure.

(more on making magic in the next post)

Be awake to your child's future destiny

A new friend asked me, "How was it that you came to North America?"

So I explained about the practical side, how my husband had been offered work, it was time for us to downsize and so forth. And then I also told her about how Ben, our fourth born, knew that his future destiny lay on this continent.

Which brought something from long ago back into my mind.

I must have been around ten years old and very much into my ballet dancing when I wrote my first poem. Unfortunately, my mom was the opposite of a packrat and at some point in my teens or twenties she threw away all my first writings. (balance in all things, people!... but she was generally so wonderful that I don't hold it too much against her. It's just that looking back would be interesting.)

I don't remember the first lines, but somewhere in the middle I wrote:

And I will go, over the sea
To study in America.

Yes. Here I am, even if it is in my elderly age rather than the younger. Because I went to England not so long after I wrote that.

As I wrote in an early post, the demands and wishes our children place upon us vary from the simply (!) physical, to the more difficult soul needs, and then to the more subtle and harder to catch spiritual aspect. Future destiny, I'd say, lies in this last, and it's helpful if we can be awake to what the child intends and wants to do in this present earthly life.

Actually, I'd say that, for me, my ballet had to do with finishing off something from a previous incarnation. Why else, when I'd been so passionate about it, would I have been able to let it go so easily when I turned eighteen?

But that's by the way. What I can tell you now is that, like his dad, the Blue-Eyed boy is all about design. As a small example, here's one of his recent 'plays', done all by himself and almost by instinct.

A Simple Gift

With the approach of the holidays, you might like to engage your 4, 5 or 6 year old in making some Christmas gifts. 

If you look at the photo (yes, I'm trying to revive those drooping hydrangeas) you'll see my vase is standing on a green felt circle. This Helen made for me way back in her kindergarten days, and I've found it useful ever since. Now that it's old, I see I need to fix that stray thread, but otherwise, it's stood up to the years very well. The thing is to see if the child can master the simple overstitch that borders the felt.

p.s. re painting

Nana: some years ago when the Blue-eyed Boy was smaller, "Here you are, here's a paint brush for you."
(hands him one of the cheaper variety I had left over from the days when I used to teach a bit.)

He stretches forward to reach the brush container: "No, I want this one."

Which just happens to be my best sable brush.

All to say that yes, on an instinctive level, children do respond to quality.

Weekend recovery: PAINTING

Many teachers know that, for the children, Monday is a day of recovery from the weekend. Cheryl had Armistice Day off, and so she and the boys were away. Now that Nana is somewhat incapacitated because I'm waiting for a hip replacement, my time with the boys is curtailed. And so, they have an au pair helping out. And Cheryl wanted to show her Niagara.

In her own words, the Blue-eyed Boy and Curly-Locks had 'a rough weekend'. Translation: too much TV and ice-cream.

It happens.

So what to do to help the recovery? Yesterday morning my beloved husband took them on a hike. Being in nature is always restoring. Then Curly-Locks spent the afternoon here with me, while the Blue-eyed Boy had some 'alone time' with the au pair.

First of all he bounced in, so delighted to be here he didn't know what to do with himself. Then he had to explore the old, familiar toys. What's struck me about these lately is how much mileage you get from good, wooden toys. At 5 and a half the Blue-eyed Boy will still play with the cars and planes and animals that he's been busy with since he was around 2.

After I coaxed Curly-Locks away for some brown rice and avocado (take that, ice cream!), which he devoured quite happily, he went for a nap. When he woke he wanted to paint.

"Good," I thought, "that's exactly what he needs."

Now, setting up painting for the little ones and supervising is a lot of work, as my artist son-in-law found out when he was visiting last Christmas. But thanks to him I had a suitable brush and proper watercolour paper to hand.

Before we started, I made sure that Curly-Locks was wearing a pinny. And during the process I kept a close watch on the blue paint, which stains quickly and permanently if it spills. I cut the corners off the paper, wet it and laid it carefully on the painting board. He set to work and was quickly absorbed in the process, engaging with the colours as they 'talked' to each other, and melded.

Wet on wet watercolour painting has something special about it because the colours move. You could say this is something like being in the heavenly world. At Curly-Locks's age there's no question of painting something for 'result': i.e. depicting an object, although he tries to draw when crayonning. It's simply a matter of letting the soul engage and be restored.

Karmic connections

Karma and our karmic connections have been much on my mind lately. So much of our interrelations can become clearer if we look at them in the light of previous experiences together. I'm leaving aside the concept of new karma for now because there are a couple of points I'd like to raise as regards our children.

In my experience and observation, it's true that mothers are likely to have the strongest karma with their first born. Sometimes this can lead to difficulties and clashes that need to be worked through somehow or other. I was fortunate that this wasn't the case with me and Miranda. In fact, rather the opposite. My sense is that our connection from previous lives is stronger than that with her dad, whereas with our second daughter, Helen, it's the other way around.

This, of course, has nothing to do with love and doesn't interfere with it. It's simply that there are differences.

And of course we also know there are differences brought about through the very fact of birth order. Since Dr. Karl Konig's groundbreaking book 'Brothers and Sisters' other research has been done and is easily found. But his small book was useful to me. Anything to help us understand the enigmas that are our children, right?

Activities that make sense (yours, not the child's)

I've just been cleaning. Cleaning is satisfying and makes me feel good. Far more so than hitting the keyboard for hours while spinning thoughts in my mind. Well, it's different of course.

While we were away over the weekend we were fortunate enough to stay with good friends who own a lovely house. For some reason, what I noticed particularly was the spotless, shiny bathroom. My friend has a cleaning lady once a fortnight and she must be the best in the land!

We can't obsess about these things, but putting in even a small amount of good tidying and cleaning will helps the house spirits and they in turn can help us. We do what we can do. And what we do with our limbs works into the future, especially when you're dealing with young children.

I was thinking about this after that 'karmic' meeting I mentioned in the last post. The poor woman looked tired, and who could blame her. Sometimes, she said, it felt like all she did during the day was change diapers and wipe bums. But you know what? Even if that's all child care amounts to, at least the caregiver can go to sleep knowing that her or his actions have made sense. Give yourself credit, dear readers.

Cleaning scents

Over the weekend, my husband and I went to a workshop back in our old haunts. There I met a wonderful woman I hadn't seen for a few years. She has a certified daycare/kindergarten where she looks after over twenty children between the ages of 18 months and 5+ years. It's a challenge, especially as (as she told me), she's dealing with all the 'a's. She meant, ADD ADHA, asthma, autism and allergies.

It's the last 'a' that I want to talk about today.

Recently I read an article where the research spotlight focussed on what we use for cleaning in our homes. You'll probably be unsurprised to hear that strong scents are now considered harmful and likely to cause allergies. Therefore, we're exhorted to look into our supplies, discard those and replace with gentler products that have softer scents.

Years ago, my dear friend and spiritual mentor brought this to my attention. She simply showed me the product she was using, a soft pink paste. "Why do you use this?" I asked. Her simple answer? "Because it's not so strong."

At that time, we didn't have the abundance of choice available now. We are fortunate. Let's choose wisely and well for the health and well-being of our families.