A Pause to Refresh

Dear Carers,

My computer is ailing, so I'm taking that as a Sign. Although I'm writing, observing, and thinking what needs to be said, I won't be posting again until the beginning of the second week in July.

In the meantime, keep an eye on our future by caring for and protecting the souls and bodies of your little ones.

Father Sun, Mother Earth

In these summer days and nights my focus is generally more outward than inward, which means my mind isn't much occupied with what I want to say on my blogs! So my apologies if posts are somewhat sporadic for a few weeks.

For the children, though, summer means more sun and more connection with nature. This is kind of my theme today. To begin, here is a simple verse that children can echo:

The sun is in my heart
It warms me with its power,
And wakens light and love
In bird and beast and flower.

What very great blessings we find in sunlight. But we also have to beware of it and take care that children don't get burned. This means limiting their exposure from mid-morning to mid-afternoon. As I suggested before, Dr. Hauschka sunscreen for children is good to use. However, all sunscreen inhibits skin function so remember to wash it off after use.

Did my children ever get sunburned? Yes, they did. When Ben went out for the day with friends he came back with reddened skin, although his hat had protected his face. Luckily I had some Weleda Combudoron lotion (for burns) on hand. I ran a deep bath, added the whole bottle, and let him soak for twenty minutes.

And now to Mother Earth.

Soon it will be Cheryl's birthday. One of the things I'm planning to do with the boys is plant radishes to give her as a present. Yes, she likes them. We'll prepare a small patch about two weeks before, and then plant the seeds. While doing so, we'll acknowledge the earth by saying this simple verse:

Mother Earth, Mother Earth,
Take our seeds and give them birth.

These verses are helpful for small children, especially as we want to nurture and encourage awareness of the wonders of nature. Little kids have a natural affinity for the spiritual, both within and without. But they also have a natural curiosity! I won't be at all surprised if Curly-Locks digs up some seeds 'to see what's happening'. I'll be sure to plant enough, in a longish row, so that won't be a problem. Then we'll thin the radishes out at some point and the children will see the roots. But before we do that, we'll warn the plants' unseen helpers-to-their-growth to prevent them getting a shock.

The Child's Urge to Imitate

To start, here are a couple of anecdotes.

We're at the beach, and the Blue-eyed Boy has a handful of damp sand. He's staring at his aunt, who's eating a packet of chips. As she brings the chip up to her mouth and pops it in, he raises his hand, ready to... eat the sand!

Of course, we alerted him.

The family plus uncle, aunt and two older girl cousins are out for lunch. Auntie points to her younger daughter and says 'Ah hah', in a mocking way. Before long, Curly-Locks points to Auntie and says, with the exact same falling intonation, 'Ah hah.'

The Blue-Eyed boy comments, 'Bad example!'

'Nuf said.

Now, the 'theory' (if you take theory as meaning the ideal to strive for) is that, because it's natural for small children to imitate us, we should not only do what is worthy of imitation, but think and feel thus as well.

I suppose it's like those three conjoined monkeys, a knickknack I saw often as a child. They sat crosslegged, one with a hand over his mouth, the other blocking her ears, the third covering his eyes. They represented 'Speak no evil, hear no evil, see no evil.' Strange in a way, because I'm sure monkeys are absolved, or rather, innocent of all such.

Okay, so this is our challenge. Even as a grandmother I find the children present me with developmental opportunities all the time! Let's take them in order and think about speaking no evil. How easy it is to be negative about this or that situation or person or creature. But this kind of 'slander' is not helpful for little ones. And as for 'hearing no evil', how often do we listen to gossip or engage in arguments or worse?

My analogy doesn't work for the 'see no evil' however. Although I'm always on about protecting the children from ugly and evil images, as adults we need to cultivate our awareness of evil so that we can recognize its presence. Then we can deal with it.

Remember, from the 'doing' point of view, meaningful work is what children will love to imitate.

Summer time = Beach time. It's elemental!

Yesterday we did the summer thing and took the boys to the beach. Of course we made sure they had snacks to eat, drinks to keep them hydrated, coverings to keep them from getting sunburned and so on. Truly a lot of clobber!

Little children benefit from some sun exposure, but it's good to keep in mind this is best before 10 a.m. and later than 4 p.m. for safety. In between time, wearing rashers is a good idea. Sunscreen on the face... nothing better than Dr. Hauschka.

But a word of caution re rashers: watch out that your little one doesn't get cold. Try and take the garments off before the children start shivering, or get that bluish/mauve shade around the mouth.

It's no secret that little kids love the beach. And why shouldn't they? They get the chance to spend time and revel in the elements of earth, of water, of air, and warmth.

Why do they enjoy this so much? I think it's simply because of those four elements. If you consider that small children, having prepared for this incarnation during the time they spent in the heavenly worlds, want to be here on earth, then it's helpful for them to connect with the elements. After all, we carry them inside ourselves as well as finding them in the outer world. Earth/mineral: bones. Water: blood, secretions and everything else of a liquid nature. Air: the breathing in and out; and Warmth: our temperature.

So making the real time connection is helpful and healthy for them. And for us adults, as well, of course.

A Shortie

'A shortie' is what my parents in law used to call an extra, neat, small alcoholic drink when they felt like an extra boost of an evening. Sometimes, looking after the grandsons, I wish I were an alcohol drinker so I could sit down at sundown and enjoy a whisky. Still, I enjoy my teas.

However, that's by the way. Today I want to let you know I'm taking a long weekend writing break. You can look for me again towards the beginning of next week.

Meanwhile, remember your role as guardian and protector. In these hot summer days (cold winter ones in the southern hemisphere) you'll be doing your children a big favour if you remember to make sure they wear a head covering when out of doors. Yes, remember to keep them protected from heat and cold, and too much inpouring of the cosmic forces.

Asta la vista, and auf wiedersehn.

The Birthday Book

When you're the much-adored first born, it's not always easy to adjust to the arrival of a rival i.e. a younger sibling. The Blue-Eyed Boy still struggles with this, although he asks for his brother if Curly-Locks isn't around. So, as I wrote already, I bought a book for him for his birthday.

The book is 'I Love You, Blue Kangaroo' by Emma Chichester Clark, and I can recommend it. I ordered and bought it through an independent book store... please, let's support those valuable resources!

Anyhow, it went down well. On request, we read it three times in a row!

Which brings me to something I wanted to say. A while ago, the Blue-Eyed Boy was getting a ride back from kindergarten with friends who lived near by. He was restless in the car, so his dad suggested the taxi-mom give him a book to read (or rather, to look at). So she took books in the car and this worked fine. Until she reported that she'd run out of books!

'Just give him the same ones,' Dad replied.

And she did.

Yes, children can live with the same few books and toys for years. In fact, this is a better way to go than always providing new things to adjust to. Especially if these books and toys are of good quality, they lessen anxiety and add to the child's sense of security.

Next up: how to 'read' to your small child

A Good Way to Go

'What's Oupa doing?'

As soon as Oupa goes into the garden, or outside the house, this is Curly-Locks's question. He already knows that Oupa is likely to be 'doing', and, moreover, what Oupa is likely to be doing is what you might call 'meaningful work'. So, he might be digging, mowing the lawn, relaying some sunken paving stones (the latest, and most fascinating project) or moving leftover gravel to make a base for our garden-equipment box. This is good because recently a small skunk has tried to make its home under there.

If I'm busy inside I'm likely to be cooking, cleaning, or washing-up. Outside, at this time of year, planting seeds or hanging out laundry. When Oupa takes Curly Locks for a walk, they'll most likely go to see how our latest nearby road-construction is getting on. Later this will lead to play with the little boy's favourite toy:

All this is helpful for Curly-Locks to have going on around him. Why? Because it will help him be active in life in a good way. Plus, it will help him to enjoy life's simple pleasures, which is reward in itself.

A couple of days ago his dad posted a photo on facebook. It showed Curly-Locks in the kitchen of their new house. Kitchen reconstruction has been an ongoing project for the last couple of weeks, and now at last dad had installed the double sink (a desirable thing to have so you can rinse the soap off the cutlery, dishes and pans easily). Curly-Locks stands on a stool with a washing-up brush in his hand, busy with the dishes. But what's heartwarming and magical to see is the smile of delight on his glowing face.

I doubt you'd see anything like that expression if he were sitting at the computer ;-)

Children can be given simple tasks from quite an early age, say from two years old onward. Try to be alert as to what they might be able to do. At almost 2 and a half, Curly-Locks used to carry his china plate from the table to the dishwasher, and return his glass to the counter. "Did it!" he'd proclaim triumphantly. He was also able to peel a carrot using a peeler.

It's good if the kids struggle a bit. Don't jump in too quickly with help, and try to allow them to reach for an ability you may think is beyond them.

To sum up: look for 'helping' activities the small child may be able to do. Be aware that what you are doing will impact the child.

To repeat, when our children are grown, it will be important and advantageous to them if they can be men and women of initiative.

Email me:magicalmotherhood@rogers.com

Soul Shocks

As carers for small children, we stand as guardians to their souls. The younger the child the more vigilant we need to be. Although, having written that last sentence, I have to say this applies even and especially during the teenage years too. However, it's different during the first seven years because this is the time when children are building their bodies and what is experienced in the soul can affect future health and strength.

Above all, you should try to avoid soul shocks. The Blue-eyed Boy is extremely sensitive. I'll never forget the day I took him into a harmful environment. He must have been 18 months old or so. Cheryl had enrolled him in a 'music and movement' program. This sounded like fun and other children his age from their street would be there too. Fine.

Now, picture a gym. A cavernous space with glaring fluorescent overhead lights, garish colours. Nothing warm or soft in the environment. Not one thing.

The Blue-eyed Boy stepped inside and paused. I read his expression 'What have you brought me to, Nana? I trusted you but... ' It was just too overwhelming, and you can imagine how terrible I felt. I suppose I should have left right then, especially as the young woman running the course had no clue and there was nothing nourishing or helpful for the little kids in what she brought. In fact, she didn't appear again. But by then, of course, the damage was done.

Sometimes we do harm when we have the best of intentions. This is why it's important to check events and courses and places and so on and do as much research as you can before exposing your little one to a new situation.

And on another note, as a follow-up to my previous post, I have to confess my memory was playing tricks with me. What I was referring to re art was a guardian.co.uk video, which actually promotes a new 'art pass' that's being introduced into the U.K. As far as I can judge, the video has been taken off the site. Sorry!

About beauty

I read a good article the other day about how looking at good art increases happiness. It was great to see this truth becoming more widely recognized. Right now, I can't find the link, but will post it for you as soon as I do.

Now, the thing is, all the art that was used to back up the argument was from the Renaissance period. Nothing modern. And I can understand why. Although I'm a big fan of abstract art, much of contemporary art to me appears the opposite of beautiful. In fact, while seeking to hold up a mirror to our society, it's often deliberately ugly, hideous and shocking.

This applies too to many images on the web, in movies and books as well.

Remembering that we're trying to make childhood a good experience, I think this is something all those who look after small children should be aware of, and guard against. Soul-shocks are to be avoided if at all possible. I'm gearing up for a long post on the subject, and you can look for it by Monday. Yes, this weekend's a busy one for us because the Blue-eyed Boy is turning 5! I'm off to buy him a new book which I ordered. If it lives up to my expectations, I'll give you the details.

Meanwhile, look on beauty every day, if you can.
Till soon.

A Taste for Healthy Food

 Writing about Curly-Locks not wanting to eat anything earlier this week reminded me of something. I was chatting with a retired teacher and grandmother recently and telling her that the Blue-eyed Boy and Curly-Locks have a good instinct for what they need to eat. Well, mostly. She commented how rare that is today, which got me thinking how we pollute our sense for taste. But it doesn't necessarily have to be so.

But this is why I'm sharing this link with you today. Also, because the ever-increasing incidence of diabetes and obesity has to be a concern. So take a look.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2011/jun/09/sugary-drinks-dull-tastebuds-study

Now, I believe in the benefits of eating organic foods, and best of all, bio-dynamic produce. I've observed that not all organic produce tastes as good as it should, but still, sometimes it's a matter of what you're not ingesting rather than what you are. And the smaller the child, the stricter you should be. However, never be fanatical. (!) I'm not in favour of cutting sugar out of a child's diet completely, unless there's ADD or some other soul or bodily reason. I doubt a little good jam, for instance, does much harm. And honey is a fine sweetener once the child is more than a year old. I'm glad I didn't know about the age restriction when my children were small! Ah well. Be well.

Just Imagine!

It's amazing how even quite small children light up when you use your imagination. They love it, and it's a helpful tool.

To give you a glimpse, yesterday the Blue-eyed Boy was up in the play structure when snack time came around. So I put his rice cake with apple butter on a wooden plate, poured his drink and went outside to give it to him. I said, 'Here's your drive-through order', and held it to the gap. His face lit up immediately. 'That'll be two dollars and fifty cents,' I told him. He handed over the money and I gave him the change.
Here's the drive-through 'window':

Now, I have to say that imagination was not a tool I made much use of when my own children were small. Grandad and Dad were the two who told stories, not me. That I only learned a few years ago when I took a course with the wonderful Nancy Mellon. Her book, 'Storytelling with Children' is available from Amazon.

So it was only after I turned 35 that I began to develop my imagination. For me, water colour painting and creative writing formed the key.

A while ago the Blue-eyed Boy brought some behaviour back from elsewhere. 'I am a robot', he chanted in a weird voice, and accompanied this with a stiff marching walk, hands thrust forward from his elbows. Nana is not big on robots for one simple reason: they're mechanical. So what I did to transform the situation was chant and stamp low to the ground 'I am a dwarf', and then, on tip-toes, 'I am a butterfly'. He got swept up in the imitation of stamping, fluttering like a butterfly, stinging like... no, not that!

This reminds me of a story a dear friend told me. Her son came to her one day, arms straight by his side, walking and standing stiffly. 'What's the matter with you?' she asked. The reply came, 'I'm bored stiff!'

When your children say profound and amusing things, do your very best to write them down. You promise yourself you'll remember, and maybe you will... one or two. But many will be lost. I only managed to keep a good record with Ben. When he turned 21 we had a dinner party for his coming-of-age, and I read a selection out to him. He nearly fell off his char laughing.

Behaviour

Curly-Locks has a tummy bug, so I'll be going around there soon to take him a remedy. Yesterday I thought he didn't look 'right' and was a bit concerned. He wouldn't eat anything, and fortunately I didn't push. Sometimes I do, because sometimes the smallies need encouragement to eat. The trick is to know which to do when!

But I was thinking of the various factors that can affect a small child's behaviour. Certainly, they can act up when they're getting ill i.e. before there are any symptoms to warn you that this is the case. Yesterday, with 'what affects behaviour' as the question on my mind, I made a short list which I will share with you today, without much explanation (for the moment).

The onset of illness
What they've seen/experienced (other children's behaviour, adults ditto, TV if they come into contact with such images)
The phases of the moon (could extend this to all the planets' activity in fact)
The days of the week.
Lack of sleep
Overstimulation
Food

Tuesday after all is Mars day, so it brings that kind of energy. I'm going to ask a teacher to do a guest post for me at some stage to characterize the different energies the different days bring.

Now I'm going to be mercurial and whizz off. Till next time!

Reincarnation and how this may affect you and your child

Two posts ago, I mentioned reincarnation to back up my position on the gender neutral baby. Now I want to take this a little further.

Am I a believer? You bet. Or rather, let's put it this way: I live my live as if it were true. Why? As I wrote before, because how else do I make sense of life events, trials and relationships? Taking the view that this is one life in a series of lives helps me with my own development and growth (it matters more). But it also widens my possibilities for understanding and approaching with more generosity of soul than I might otherwise those with whom I come into contact. This means people who are close (friends and family), medium (again, friends and family) and far (acquaintances, business colleagues, store clerks, passers by etc.)

Especially, though, for me the idea of reincarnation helps when dealing with children. I mean, we all want our kids to be beautiful, intelligent and perfectly behaved, right? Now, if it's all down to me as biological parent and heredity, I'm going to blame myself if my child doesn't measure up to that impossible standard. But if I take the view that some difficulty is a challenge he or she has brought with her from a past life, then I can do something. We can work together to bring help and healing.

Also, we can take comfort in the thought that babies bring with them everything they need, as potential, anyhow. We don't want to divert or undermine their spiritual heritage. This is why I'm always on about protecting the body and the soul, especially from shocks and age-inappropriate activities.

Promises, promises

I see I promised to write more on reincarnation today, but actually I'm not. I thought it was time for a couple of images, so you'll be getting those instead.

But before I go there, let's back up. I told you I was going to do something and then renegued. Not a good idea, especially when dealing with small children. In order to avoid disappointments and unfulfilled expectations (i.e. negative impacts on the soul) it's better not to say 'after lunch we'll do this or that', or 'tomorrow we'll go to the beach' in case something else comes up and you don't manage. In any case, children live in the present and while they're small it's better to keep it that way. A corollary would be, too, not to call on their memories. For little ones, what's past is past and it can be anxiety-making and stress-inducing if you ask them to recall experiences (what happened yesterday?) or people (do you remember so-and-so?), for instance.

Enough already. Here are the pics I want to share with you today. First of all, a couple of treasured wooden elephants.

And now, a little fox that Curly-Locks loves.

I picked him up at our neighbour's garage sale a couple of weeks ago. Quite delightful, non?

So, you ask, what's significant about these? Well, simply that they capture something of the essence of elephant, the essence of fox. These days I notice many toys, soft ones in particular, that are so far from anything of the essence of an animal you can hardly tell what they are... dog or rabbit or bear?

We all carry animal nature within ourselves. "You rat!' "You snake!" You...er... elephant?" From what I read about elephants, that's more likely to be complimentary than derogatory. Still, it's more helpful for a child if they can see the essence of various animals. And please, not, if possible dinosaurs. That would be my exception to the concept.

And tomorrow? More on reincarnation. I promise.

Keeping your house spirits happy

I was going to write more about reincarnation, but will leave that for tomorrow. The thing is, I prefer to share with you what's living in my soul at this present moment. Kind of like a version of the Facebook question: What's on your mind? Although I don't really address that when I post there. I much preferred the old question of 'What are you doing right now?' (can't remember the exact wording).

Okay. So I want to talk today about tidying. Mostly this is because, last week, I didn't. All my energy was directed elsewhere and I decided 'no, I can't do that'. Now, usually, when the boys are here, I'm inclined to tidy bits and pieces as we go so the place doesn't get completely chaotic. And at the end of the afternoon, I sometimes manage to get them to help me put things away. In any case, before I go to bed I like to have my environment under control. Why? Because then the rooms welcome me in the morning.

Try it yourself. See if you feel the difference.

In the days when I first began to give daycare to the Blue-eyed Boy, and later for Curly-Locks, I'd prepare the space by laying out a few, carefully chosen toys on a low stool. They'd happily go and start playing. And, as a side note: in these days when children are inclined to have a bounty of toys, it's a good idea to 'disappear' some of them from time to time. Then they'll be discovered anew and with delight.

I think a tidy-ish house helps the unseen beings feel at peace and therefore, benevolent. Last night I did a push and really felt the difference when I came downstairs. Then I began a bit of cleaning, wiping with a damp sponge. Water, as we know, helps the (good) negative ions in the air. This is why our house spirits really like it when we clean in this way.

Now, it's not that I want to put a heavy trip on you. No. We can't always manage everything we'd like. I'd say it simply makes a difference if we're aware and consciously let this or that go. Then our house spirits will understand and cut us some slack.

Gender Neutral?

You've probably read about the Canadian couple who are keeping their baby's gender a secret. They've engendered (sorry) quite a lot of media attention.

 I wondered why this disturbed me, so I began pondering what it might mean, and how this might impact their child. Actually, I doubt it will make a huge difference during the first couple of years. But after that?
Several aspects came up for me. What I'm really disturbed about is the attitude, which comes across to me as using your child as an experiment. Surely this is materialistic? Like regarding the child as a kind of widget?

 Here's the thing. I believe that to make any kind of sense of our lives, our destinies, and our connections with other human beings, we have to at least entertain the idea of reincarnation. So, if we look at this as if we come to earth to experience different aspects of the human condition, you'll realize it's very different whether you've come as a man or a woman. There's plenty of documentation to prove this, but seeing as we're focusing on experience, I'd like to offer something from Rudolf Steiner that's been a revelation to me. He says that in general men are too deeply incarnated in their bodies, and women not quite incarnated enough. You can find a fun illustration of this in the June 2 post on Jennifer Crusie's blog http://www.arghink.com Hit 'read more' and then scroll down to the box where you'll see something about telling jokes.

Yes, there's a reason the book 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus' was such a mega best seller, and still is.

It's helpful for our children to see the masculine and the feminine. This is why small children benefit and enjoy it when we, as mothers, grandmothers, nannies, etc., wear long, flowing skirts. Do I? Mostly, not. Since coming to North America I find myself in pants more and more often, although less so in summer.

But a while ago my husband was away for over three weeks, coinciding with March break. Knowing I'd find providing day care for the Blue-eyed Boy as well as Curly-Locks too taxing without his support, I asked my dear Acadian soul-sister to come and be with me. A hippie princess, she still loves to wear those long, floaty skirts. In fact, she deliberately brought along a couple. And I noticed how much Curly-Locks enjoyed them. He'd stand close to her, clutch handfuls of fabric and peep out at me through the folds. Somehow too, that was comforting for him.

Something like this is not imposing on our children in any way, and of course some girls will be tomboys and some boys will be 'softer' than others. But surely life today is confusing enough without us having to be confused about our gender?

I guess what I'm really trying to say is that our gender has meaning. Don't you think part of our striving should be to raise our manhood or womanhood to a higher, better level?

When you move a sleeping child

I'm gearing up for a longish post on that 'gender neutral' child. Meanwhile, a shortie as I'm taking a day off.

I was listening to the radio a minute ago and a woman was talking about her earliest memory, how she woke up in a strange house and started crying.

My dear mother taught me that, when you move a sleeping toddler or small child, it's good to murmur, and tell him or her what you're doing, and where you're going to lay them down. Ben did this instinctively, which made me happy. Do it, even if they're fast asleep. Those words will provide comfort.