It's Mothers Day, and so I've been sending love and gratitude to my own dear mother, and thinking about all she did for me. Perhaps the greatest and most valuable gift was that she empowered me to become the person I'm meant to be. (Okay, okay, I'm still working on it!) My question to myself this morning was: How did she do that?
First of all, there was never a hint of an attitude that seems to have been around in North America. I mean, the 'who do you think you are?' kind of thing.
My mother gave me options and opportunities. This doesn't mean she enrolled me in as many activities as could be crammed into my week. No. Rather, she paid attention to my inclinations on an intuitive level. So, even tho she had to go to work in order to pay for them, she gave me dance lessons - ballet and Spanish. Piano lessons, even though I was a bit of a dunce there. A private education in a religious environment (i.e., a girls' school run by Anglican sisters, but with a staff also of lay teachers) because of my love of learning. And of course, plenty of books to read.
But truly, she didn't force anything that didn't 'fit'. Working from a place of trust (a great empowerment of its own) she allowed my brother and me to find and follow our paths in life, and respected our choices.
She provided an aesthetic environment in our home and a garden filled with trees and flowers where I could play, dream and dance to my heart's content.
Recently, at a visit to a book club where I was invited to talk about and discuss my novel 'Cape Town', one of the women asked me an interesting question. This was: did you have a sheltered childhood? The first answer that sprang to mind was 'no', simply because I was allowed quite a large measure of independence. But the world was a very different place in those days, and my answer could well have been 'yes'. For example, news of wars and/or natural disasters, the latest horror story, wasn't disseminated quickly and widely as it is today. So in that way I was sheltered. And I'm grateful for it.
Lastly, once I expressed a definite direction I wanted to go in, I benefitted from a large amount of level-headed encouragement.
Thanks, Ma.
Sunday, May 12, 2013
Friday, January 4, 2013
Winter ills
Both the Blue-eyed Boy and Curly-Locks have been under the weather with winter colds. They came to be with me over the past couple of days and I was happy to take care of them. By last night, Curly-Locks was fine. And the Blue-eyed Boy? Not so much.
Now, I tried to persuade them to wear something more than a long-sleeved teeshirt, worn loose over their pants. The Blue-eyed boy kept his sweater on for a while, then shed it and refused to put it on again. I managed to get Curly-Locks to keep his. This happened after they'd been playing tea parties and the Blue-eyed Boy had poured the remainer of the herb tea over his brother!! So a change of clothes was called for and the sweater was on.
Certainly, we all need to be more warmly dressed than usual when we have a cold. So why do these boys refuse to wear another layer? I was totally puzzled until a recent discussion with a woman who teaches eurythmy. She said that children today aren't used to being covered. An 'aha!' moment for me.
The take-away from this small anecdote is that we need to be sure our children are used to being covered. If nothing else works, maybe a short-sleeved tee over the long one would be better than nothing, and maybe help towards the child becoming more accustomed. Warmth is so very important for the good incarnation of the ego, a process that will only come to fruition once the individuality reaches the age of twenty-one, although there are significant moments at ages three, nine and twelve as well.
Now, I tried to persuade them to wear something more than a long-sleeved teeshirt, worn loose over their pants. The Blue-eyed boy kept his sweater on for a while, then shed it and refused to put it on again. I managed to get Curly-Locks to keep his. This happened after they'd been playing tea parties and the Blue-eyed Boy had poured the remainer of the herb tea over his brother!! So a change of clothes was called for and the sweater was on.
Certainly, we all need to be more warmly dressed than usual when we have a cold. So why do these boys refuse to wear another layer? I was totally puzzled until a recent discussion with a woman who teaches eurythmy. She said that children today aren't used to being covered. An 'aha!' moment for me.
The take-away from this small anecdote is that we need to be sure our children are used to being covered. If nothing else works, maybe a short-sleeved tee over the long one would be better than nothing, and maybe help towards the child becoming more accustomed. Warmth is so very important for the good incarnation of the ego, a process that will only come to fruition once the individuality reaches the age of twenty-one, although there are significant moments at ages three, nine and twelve as well.
Sunday, December 30, 2012
The magic of Christmas
At midnight on Christmas Eve, I love to step outside and look upwards, opening myself to the heavens. I hold in my imagination that wonderful image of the angels shining and jubilating at the birth of the Christ child. If the stars are visible, so much the more wonderful.
Our family came for a visit. We lit the tree and sang some carols, accompanied by our son on the clarinet. Afterwards he called to thank us for the evening and said how much he'd longed for our grandsons to experience just this, the same magic he'd experienced as a child. You can surely imagine how touched I was by his words. They affirmed for me the importance of bringing such images to our small ones, true soul food that can bring strength for later life.
More on what we did on this occasion next time.
Till then, remember that we are still living in the grace of the Holy Days and Nights.
Our family came for a visit. We lit the tree and sang some carols, accompanied by our son on the clarinet. Afterwards he called to thank us for the evening and said how much he'd longed for our grandsons to experience just this, the same magic he'd experienced as a child. You can surely imagine how touched I was by his words. They affirmed for me the importance of bringing such images to our small ones, true soul food that can bring strength for later life.
More on what we did on this occasion next time.
Till then, remember that we are still living in the grace of the Holy Days and Nights.
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
The Thirteen Holy Nights
During this time when the spiritual world can approach us in a special way, I tend to cut computer time to a minimum. So all I would suggest, is that you keep a dream journal until January 6th to see what the angels might want to reveal to you.
Here is an image from our home for you. Even if you don't connect to the traditional Bible story, you might be able to sense the new birth that the coming of the great Sun-spirit brings to us all.
Blessings, love and light,
Brenda
p.s. I took this photo early on Christmas Eve, so the baby is not yet in the waiting crib. But he's there now!
Monday, December 17, 2012
The Winter Solstice
For those of us in the northern hemisphere, the darkest time of the year draws near. Let's make the most of this experience! Why? Because these are the ways to live with the cycle of the year that help us to connect to the Spirit of the World, as I explained in a previous post.
Now, I'm very grateful for the blessings of electricity, the convenience of being able to flick a switch and have light whenever I need or want. But let's live a little in the darkness too. On these gloomy mornings I go downstairs to prepare breakfast and the only light I use is one under-counter light. Then when we sit down to eat, the candle is lit. Such a very different kind of glow! A child will respond with reverence and take in the gentle contrast between soft light and dark day.
On a bright day we have the blessing of being up early enough to watch the sun rise, another attribute of this time of year. And in the evenings the tender pinks and mauves festoon the sky.
Today I'll be busy with cleaning and clearing. This helps me to prepare inwardly for the coming of the new. At the Winter Solstice I'll know that the daylight hours will begin to increase again, and that after the mysterious interval of three days, the Holy Night will be here.
Now, I'm very grateful for the blessings of electricity, the convenience of being able to flick a switch and have light whenever I need or want. But let's live a little in the darkness too. On these gloomy mornings I go downstairs to prepare breakfast and the only light I use is one under-counter light. Then when we sit down to eat, the candle is lit. Such a very different kind of glow! A child will respond with reverence and take in the gentle contrast between soft light and dark day.
On a bright day we have the blessing of being up early enough to watch the sun rise, another attribute of this time of year. And in the evenings the tender pinks and mauves festoon the sky.
Today I'll be busy with cleaning and clearing. This helps me to prepare inwardly for the coming of the new. At the Winter Solstice I'll know that the daylight hours will begin to increase again, and that after the mysterious interval of three days, the Holy Night will be here.
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Every parent's friend: St. Nicholas
Today we celebrate and expect a visit from St. Nicholas. So why do I consider him every parent's friend? Well, he can be a huge help for guiding kids' behavior because he has a big book where he notes down all they've done during the year, all the good things and the bad. He rewards the good with chocolate (or gold!) and the bad, with coal (also useful, actually, and an interesting metaphor when you think you burn it).
If you don't expect to have a real visit, it's fine to put out the shoes the night before so they can receive the gifts. Also, you might write a little note to explain where the child is going in a good direction, and where not.
I used this last during my children's teenaged years, although that grew to more of a letter than just a note. But I was always amazed how well they received the complaints, gentle nudges and of course, the praise. Maybe it was because that was somehow more objective and a little removed from Mom. A good rule to follow is, three praises/affirmations to one complaint/request!
Happy St. Nicholas day, everyone. It's okay to reward yourself too!
If you don't expect to have a real visit, it's fine to put out the shoes the night before so they can receive the gifts. Also, you might write a little note to explain where the child is going in a good direction, and where not.
I used this last during my children's teenaged years, although that grew to more of a letter than just a note. But I was always amazed how well they received the complaints, gentle nudges and of course, the praise. Maybe it was because that was somehow more objective and a little removed from Mom. A good rule to follow is, three praises/affirmations to one complaint/request!
Happy St. Nicholas day, everyone. It's okay to reward yourself too!
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Preparing for Christmas
'Trim the hearth and set the table.'
That's what I did for the first Sunday in Advent, when the family came to share and mark the afternoon and evening with us. Maybe you'll recognize the lines from the Christmas carol 'People look East'. Mainly, I focused on angels, stars, candles and images of the Annunciation, postcards of art masterpieces that I've collected over the years. I also brought out some crystals, because each week we'll focus on one of the four elements, and for this first one, it's 'earth'.
However, before I began to bring out the Christmas decorations, I cleared the decks. That is, I put away things like the family photographs, and other knickknacks. Not that we have many of those around the place, but still.
And I dusted.
These two activities are connected with making space for the spirit of Christmas. I learned this preparation from a wise daughter, one time when she came to stay and offered to decorate our house. Which she did most beautifully. I was extremely grateful.
My apologies, but the second photo might make you feel a little dizzy. But you could think of the angle from which it's taken as giving you more of an angel's view! And note the blue cloth, which brings an inward mood.
This is a wonderful stable, isn't it? I found it on a neighbour's garage sale. Over the next weeks we'll add some animals, and Mary and Joseph will journey closer and closer.
A blessed Advent to you all.
That's what I did for the first Sunday in Advent, when the family came to share and mark the afternoon and evening with us. Maybe you'll recognize the lines from the Christmas carol 'People look East'. Mainly, I focused on angels, stars, candles and images of the Annunciation, postcards of art masterpieces that I've collected over the years. I also brought out some crystals, because each week we'll focus on one of the four elements, and for this first one, it's 'earth'.
However, before I began to bring out the Christmas decorations, I cleared the decks. That is, I put away things like the family photographs, and other knickknacks. Not that we have many of those around the place, but still.
And I dusted.
These two activities are connected with making space for the spirit of Christmas. I learned this preparation from a wise daughter, one time when she came to stay and offered to decorate our house. Which she did most beautifully. I was extremely grateful.
My apologies, but the second photo might make you feel a little dizzy. But you could think of the angle from which it's taken as giving you more of an angel's view! And note the blue cloth, which brings an inward mood.
This is a wonderful stable, isn't it? I found it on a neighbour's garage sale. Over the next weeks we'll add some animals, and Mary and Joseph will journey closer and closer.
A blessed Advent to you all.
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